This is a very impersonal thank you, to all my friends and family that have helped me in the last week in particular. Losing my mother and sitting with her and watching her die, was absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
Talk about feeling powerless. I've always at least been able to at least punch something if I can't make it better. Well, I couldn't even do that.
But I did do the best I could with what I had to work with to see she didn't suffer and that all of her personal matters were attended to. My sister helped tremendously as well, coming in from California, and finally earned my respect after 38 years, I thought she'd be a big quivering mess. But she's a pretty sharp take charge lady, who cut through my relatives bullshit like a chain-saw through a kitten.
But she had her support system with her in her special lady friend, and I had mine with what IS my family. All you guys my friends, yes, even the not internet connected ones. You are all too numerous to thank, but there's no way I could have made it through this without you, and I'll probably still need you, because now I have to worry about me. Something I haven't done in a long time.
It sucks to be a grown-up.
It sucks to be an orphan.
But it's a part of life, the only way you don't hurt that bad is to not love that much.
One other thing I KNOW is if that lady is not in heaven there's no God. I'm not saying she was a saint, she wasn't. But a better person who would help anyone who needed it in spite of not having anything herself is testament to her heart.
If nothing else I learned that.
Thanks everyone.
Faye's son, Todd
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